Hey lovelies, I know it’s been a while, but I have Internet access and that shit is distracting. I would show you a screen shot of the amount of tabs I have open but I’m lazy and that’s sort of weird, so no.
Speaking of weird, I inexplicably have a Twitter, and let me just say – some bizarre stuff happens on Twitter. Kanye West, mostly. But specifically, I am now being followed by someone with the username “Cat_Owners”. I have no idea why these things happen to me.
 |
| Someone actually took the time to make this. |
The worst part about Twitter is that if I venture beyond the cozy circle of comedians, sci-fi writers, and accounts for random Internet memes (even though the account for Big Ben just says “gong,” I still think we’ve made a palpable connection) that I’ve created for myself, NO ONE CAN SPELL. When half of the trending hashtags manage to be both racist and misspelled, all I want to do is curl up in a little ball and have Big Ben hold me. #thingsblackfolkscarredof was both scary and scarring.
 |
| So majestic. |
The spelling thing is unendingly frustrating, and unfortunately not sequestered in the quasi-dead space of Twitter. No, my friends, despite that little dotted red line kindly provided by your advanced and new-fangled Internet browser-contraption, words like “wierd,” “experiance,” and “relevent” are a staple of the average Facebook newsfeed perusal (I hope you all appreciate these examples because I’ve had to auto-correct them back to these mangled states at least three times each – see how easy it is to spell things correctly, people?).
 |
| This is serious business. |
When I encounter these atrocities, for the most part, my eye simply twitches a little and I go on with my day. But what REALLY irks me is when the word-mangler in question misspells something, and then, as if this makes it all better, puts a cute little “(sp?)” after said offender. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DO YOU NOT SEE THE GOOGLE SEARCH BAR IN THE UPPER RIGHT HAND OF YOUR BROWSER?
 |
| I don't know why people think I'm an angry person. |
Alternately, apparently “daiquiri” is in the top 100 most often misspelled words which is both entirely understandably and weirdly frequent for a word like daiquiri.
 |
| They never buy a girl mozzarella sticks. |
